Friday, March 03, 2006

Slot Machines Coming to Philly

So Philly's gonna be a gamblin' town, eh? Well good, I say! I know hobos in Atlantic City who make damn near $500 a day panhandling on the boardwalk!

Picture this:

Mr. Rich Vacationer gets a little lucky at the slots and begins to feel all warm inside his guts. He struts with confidence along the boardwalk after a hot golden shower with a 67-year-old hooker in the Holiday Inn. As he passes the Tropicana on his way to the Borgata, his eyes fall upon a filthy beggar who's stuck wheeling himself around on a skateboard cause he has no legs to support his body.

"Please suh, a quarter for some food," he begs.

Mr. Vacationer's hands are still swimming in dough as he pokes around in his pocket, despite being overcharged by that call-girl cause she doesn't "typically do that type of thing". So, to make up for the ever growing void of self-loathing in his soul, Mr. Rich Vacationer decides to throw a few bucks the way of the homeless tramp.
Cha-ching!

In short...I can pretend I have no legs too. Hell, I'm already missing one!

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