Friday, May 05, 2006

Who Doesn't Love a Nice Asian Prostitute from Time to Time?

Now friends, before I incur the wraith of all me Christian readers...allow ole Quint a bit of time to speak his mind before ye judge the title of this post. I assure you, it's not what ye think...

In all actuality, what ole Quint is trying to say is...well, when one feels the need to visit an Asian massage parlor and tip out a few extra dubloons for a little game of rub and tug at the end, one should do so not out of extreme lack of attention from the opposite sex, but because one truly believes in supporting the immigrants' struggles
for citizenship in this greatest of all countries.







Now is that so wrong? I don't believe so. I'd go so far as to say that while I'm not one to frequent such establishments under normal circumstances, I believe it is every citizen's right to do so provided they support the rights of illegal aliens around the country. Think about it. E.T. was an alien. Would you put up a cage to keep him out of your country?









That's what I surmised.













Those of you who actually read the newspapers after using them as blankets on the streets are aware that there has been a great deal of focus on these immigrants lately. Their "Day Without Immigrants" campaign, or "DWI" as I've come to refer to it, has been highly publicized in the media, and as of last week there have now been TWO DWIs in America! I'm not sure we can take it much longer.

It seems to this ole grizzled bastard that everybody is striking nowadays. The cabbies (some of whom surely also missed work because of the DWI) have resorted to striking because of the new rules requiring mandatory GPS installments and the automatic retirement of vehicles over 200 some miles. This means that thousands of people in city of Philadelphia (ranked 2nd on the list of fattest cities in 2005) will have no choice but to walk or ride a bike to get to work! Some of those same people might actually extend their lives by as much as 5 years by doing so, which in ole Quint's humble opinion is a travesty, as those years would surely be wasted on gambling at the slot machines that are expected to hit the city in the not-too-distant future. Then again, if Mayor Street doesn't support that indoor-smoking ban like he said he will, those 5 years will more than likely be negated.

Lordy, it's been over a month since me last posting and here I am off on a rant. Perhaps it should be mentioned that ole Quint just snorted some benzedrine and is currently firing on all cylinders and then some.

I guess what ole Quint is really trying to say here is that I don't care whether you're for or against immigrants, but if you are for immigrants, you should probably get yourself to the asian massage parlor.

Do it for the children...