Herpes-riddled derelict

Let it be known that Quint McGuinley is not above commissioning a herpes-riddled derelict to rape those who foolishly supplant his position in the soup line when he is left with no choice but to address the onset of explosive diarrhea by temporarily extracting himself from the line in question!



Ask these guys! They've known my wrath!

Tyra Banks' Stylish Armpit Vag

It should be known far and wide that Tyra Banks, the cantaloupe-bosomed supermodel who hosts America's Next Top Model with more over-the-top theatrics than a Crispin Glover movie marathon(see below), sports a vagina in her armpit. Where normal people excrete sweat...Miss Tyra offers so much more!


This news comes to you straight from the street, where yours truly is currently bathing in a sea of newspapers that have been strewn about me weary body for warmth and protection. (Sidenote: They booted ole Quint out of his apartment after a week...something or other about the intolerable stench and unimaginable deterioration of my living quarters.)